We took a bit of break due to exams, holidays, etc. Now it's 2023, and we'll resume insha'Allah with the weekly blog.
Today's hadith is narrated in Sahih Al-Bukhari, in Book 78. It is hadith 2 .
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that a man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said: "Oh Prophet (PBUH), who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Your mother." The man said: "Who is next?" The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Your mother." The man said: "Who is next?" The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Your mother." The man further asked for the fourth time: "Who is next?" The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Your father." (The hadith in Arabic is mentioned at the bottom of this blog, if you would like to read it.)
There is another version of this hadith in which the Prophet (PBUH) added: "Then your relatives, starting from the closest ones to you and going further out."
The goodness and prosperity of the social life in this world depends on respecting mutual rights, honouring kinship, and giving kind treatment to each other according to degrees of nearness of relationship. The mother is the nearest of the relatives and the strongest. Hence, she is the most deserving of kind treatment and service. Next is the father, followed by other relatives according to their nearness.
Some scholars have deduced from the wording of the hadith that the mother shares the rights to kind treatment in a ratio of 3:1. She bears the burden of the child, travails of child birth and the effort of breast-feeding, but Allah knows best.
The jurists say that the rights of the mother are greater than the rights of the father. Kind treatment to her, serving her, and caring for her are more necessary than these duties towards the father. However, there may be cases when both cannot be given their rights at the same time. For example, if the parents have divorced and are separated, and giving rights of one parent will displease the other. In such cases, the children should give their father preference in reverence and veneration, but they should offer their service and monetary help to their mother. That does not mean that the mother is disrespected.
The rights of parent are innumerable, so much so that the children cannot absolve themselves of responsibility, even if they spend their entire lives to give the rights of their parents.
The shari'ah (divine law) has enumerated some more significant and essential rights that cannot be ignored in any case:
- They must be obeyed
- They should be treated in the best way possible
- They should not be mistreated or insulted
- They should not be addressed or remembered by their names
- They should not be overtaken in anything, or put to the sidelines
- Children should be respectful and do everything that is possible to please them
- Children should spend on them according to their means means for their needs and comfort
- Children should be humble, mild, and soft-spoken towards them
Even when enjoining what is reputable and forbidding what is wrong, manners must be observed and mild speech should be used. If the parents do not heed on being told once, then silence should be observed in this matter and supplication should be made for them. The scholars came to this conclusion from the verse in the Quran concerning Prophet Ibrahim's (A.S) advice to his father - Surah At-Tawbah (9:114).
Advice or inspiration from this hadith:
- A mother comes first with regards to respect and kind treatment followed by the father and then followed by relatives according to their nearness
- Parents must be obeyed and respected at all times unless it is with regards to disobeying Allah
That is today's hadith, alhamdulillah. Insha'Allah, we have all benefited from it. May Allah allow us to have complete faith in Him and allow us to fully act upon the sayings and teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). May Allah bless us with knowledge and understanding so that we may contemplate upon His words. May Allah allow us to be obedient, respectful, and grateful to our parents. May Allah forgive our parents like they brought us up and looked after us since we were born. May Allah forgive us all and enter us into paradise. Ameen.
If you have any opinions or corrections to make, please mention them in the comments. Jazakumullah khair.